day 4: almost passed out but still losing it

So last night I ended up eating only 25 calories. I wanted it to be a food free day but I needed a little something to put me at ease. I was quite light headed. I drank a ton of water but that wasn't helping.

Anyways, I was sad about it. I fell asleep, woke up in the morning and I don't know what happened. I jumped in the shower really quick because I had to go to class. My stomach felt upset, I felt like I was going to throw up, even though I didn't have anything in my stomach... I started washing my hair and could barely lift my arms. About 1 minute into the shower I just jumped out and collapsed to the floor. Things were looking grey and my head was light, my body was shakey, and I started hyper ventilating.

I think I just woke up too fast on little energy. Thing is, my boyfriend came in, and I just told him ahh I need some water please. My stomach is upset.

He gave me water and then I felt a little better, and I ate one apple.

I got to school and drank some tea. I almost fell asleep in class. I have been reading about other girls fasting and how it makes them tired. I only slept 7 hours last night, so I'm guessing I should allow for more time to sleep and recharge so I don't feel that way often.

Anyways, I bought this chicken buffalo wrap at school, and took a few bites and noticed blue cheese was in it!! I hate blue cheese. I tried peeling it out of it. Then I realized I didn't even look at the wrapper to see how many calories it was, and it was 700! So I ate about half of it. I didn't eat all the tortilla part, I ate some chicken from the inside of it but not all of it then threw it away. Hopefully I think I only ate like 300 calories of it, then that apple this morning. I think that is all I'm going to eat today. Maybe a piece of fruit before our dance performance for our modern dance class. Just so I can have a little energy.

After that, no class for about 3 weeks. Which I can really focus on the weight loss then. And have lots of days to sleep in if I feel the need. Fasting is the easiest when you are sleeping, hours go by and you are still burning calories. Although it's less then when you're awake, but no hunger pangs and being light headed during however many hours is nice, and keeps me from eating.

I feel bad about the food I ate today. But I take it as learning not to get up so fast or allow for more sleeping time.

When I weight myself this morning the scale said 126. I don't know how much it will say now though after that food. :|

I'm not giving up.